


All Our Wrong Todays

by xPrettyBoyx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Headaches & Migraines, Idiots in Love, M/M, Obsessive Harry Potter, Possessive Harry Potter, Powerful Harry, Protective Harry, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Sad Draco Malfoy, Sad Harry Potter, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPrettyBoyx/pseuds/xPrettyBoyx
Summary: Draco tightly shut his eyes as he listened to the ticking of the old clock, mocking him that he was running out of time."Isn't Harry Potter acting weird?""Yeah, he's been more green lately."Nevertheless, tomorrow would soon come."Oh? So he's not blue anymore?""No, no. Something like this is a bit.. deeper."Until it didn't."Still, his behaviour is quite worrisome. Normal people don't act like that, right?"Draco shrugged, but somewhere deep down he knew that Theo was nothing but right.-------------------Just a time loop fanfic. Takes place during 6th year when Draco is assigned to fix the vanishing cabinet. Mainly, I wanted a fic where Harry is a bit of a yandere and Draco is just miserable, unstable and confused.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 69
Kudos: 282





	1. White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

October 1st

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

Red. Red for Pansy's lipstick that surrounded her lips perfectly, making it clear that she spent a lot of time on her makeup this early in the morning. It moved with her as she smugly talked at the Slytherin table, not worrying about ruining it with her breakfast. Heavy makeup suited Pancy, Draco noted.

Blue. Blue for Luna's nail polish that was a bit blotchy, nevertheless very pretty. He watched as she proudly showed it off to the Weasley girl whose name Draco forgot. The redhead watched Luna with a fond smile but stiff shoulders as she glanced at the blonde, whose hands were now in hers, making it obvious that her touch was not welcomed, or more welcome than it should have been. Draco settled for the latter.

Yellow. Yellow for the small butterfly clip which pinned down the long amber hair of a fourth year Hufflepuff girl. The girl seemed very clumsy, thought Draco, as the girl spilled her pumpkin juice all over the table. She flushed a deep red when her fellow housemates started teasing her.

Green. Green for eyes that were currently watching him from afar.

Draco suppressed a flinch and he slowly looked down at his full plate, trying to forget about the famous owner of those lovely green eyes. However, forgetting was hard, it seems, as he felt the eyes directly on him, even after the other was caught staring.

"He sure isn't shy about being caught red handed, is he?" Chuckled Blaise as he stole a blueberry directly from Draco's plate. He noted Blaise's black nail polish, which was shiny and neatly done.

"How come your nails aren't blotchy at all? Some may go as far as to say that you're better at that than any girl in Hogwarts.", Draco said as he remembered Luna's poorly done polishing job.

In reality, he couldn't care less about his friend's nails, but he had to keep the conversation going. Simply hissing at Blaise wouldn't do the trick anymore, if anything the other Slytherin would only use it as a chance to start teasing him about the unwanted eyes, and he wanted to keep the conversation about his obvious stalker to the minimum. His chest tightened as he remembered the deep green eyes and he tried to pay no mind to it. He had to continue with his color observation otherwise he would lose his mind.

"I would call it practice, my dear friend." Blaise smirked as he put his hands on Draco's cheeks, clearly making him pay attention to him "Also, it gives off a mysterious aura, and the girls go crazy over that." There was a glow in his eyes.

Brown. Brown as in Blaise's cold and deep eye color, the exact ones that held a lot of mischief behind them and were surrounded with short but thick eyelashes. Draco shrugged his hands off of his cheeks and narrowed his eyes, he could hear Pancy give a snort.

"Yeah right." she rolled her eyes, "You must have a lot more than good looks for the ladies to go crazy over you. Try maybe with getting a better personality, and then we'll see." She huffed as she, as well, stole a blueberry from Draco's plate.

Draco watched as she combed her short black hair carefully with her fingers. Her fringe fell just barely in front of her eyebrows, which were precisely filled in. Her warm light brown eyes playfully narrowed at Blaise.

"You wound me, Pansy dear!" Blaise said as he stole the blueberry from Pansy, earning a kick in the leg from their bossy friend. Blaise hissed as he tried to smooth out the pain, his dark short hair barely made any movement at all.

Draco suppressed the urge to bang his head against the table, it was way too early for this bickering. He looked down at his plate, which was still untouched, and came to the conclusion that he would eat something after their classes were over. Such a pity though, the oranges are such a lovely shade of bright orange. It somehow reminded him the Weasleys.

Orange. Such a bright and deep orange, someone could mistake it for a fire.

He looked up and saw that his both friends haven't stopped teasing each other, and silently grateful they weren't aiming for him. For the time being at least.

Red. He took notice of Pancy's red earrings which were the exact same shade as her lipstick. The matching was kind of nice, only if it weren't for her green Slytherin cloak that clashed everything.

Aside from being in a really bad mood, having no appetite and feeling a growing headache, he cherished the moment and wished for it to never end. He didn't feel happy, mind you, nor was it fun to listen to these idiotic dorks insult each other, yet he did feel at ease. Only if it were't for those green eyes he still felt at the side of his head.

And time.

He hated every second that passed, knowing it meant that tomorrow was coming closer and closer, and after that he did not have anymore time to fix that damned vanishing cabinet. He was at total loss. He didn't have enough time, every second was ticking and he was just wasting it. He was doomed, and there was not much he could do about it, for he had tried almost everything.

He almost smacked himself for thinking this much, yet not enough at the same time. If he only were to bring himself to _feel_ , then maybe the fear for his life would force him to do something. Yet, he didn't, nor did he wonder why. He accepted the fact that he was just the washed out version of his past self, acting purely on his memory, and maybe soon to be dead.

"Let's go.", he said as he stood up, pushing his plate away from him as it were poison. "Otherwise we will be late for class."

His friends clearly took notice of his action, but they choose to stay quiet about it, only sharing a concerned glance between each other as they followed him out of the Great Hall. They stayed a couple steps behind, quietly whispering between each other. Pancy snapped at some point, and by the looks of Blaise's smirk and quicker pace he was the one responsible for that action. If Draco remembered correctly, it had something to do with "That dark eye shadow looks like somebody punched you in the face, Pans."

Pancy took the chance to swing herself over the two of them, already in the mood for making a conversation. She didn't bother to keep her voice down, even when they got a lot of looks for her loudness. Draco scolded but quickly smiled afterwards, because he remembered himself to do so, and Blaise made a complaint about her being too heavy, and he quotes "How can a girl like you be such a cow, I mean really.", which earned him a strong smack on top of his head, and Draco smirked at his yelp.

Yet, even as the heavy doors closed behind them, he could still feel that strong and cold stare, and Draco could only feel his dread rise.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆ 

Pink. Pink for the shoelaces of a fifth year Ravenclaw in his Charms class that Draco never paid attention before. Her shoelaces were quite dirty, but the pink reminded him of some pretty and delicate flowers his manor used to have. He couldn't remember the name of the flowers if his life depended on it, and he blames the fact for only being a kid that was not interested in flowers. Now he dreads his naive persona, but he knows well enough that even now he wouldn't spent two glances at flowers if it wasn't for their colors.

Violet. Violet for the birthmark of a fourth year Gryffindor in his Astronomy class. It was very dominant on the boys face, and Draco had to take a few looks to make sure it wasn't drawn on. He could see how the boy fidgeted a little, avoiding everyone's gaze while talking. He quickly came to the conclusion that the boy must be shy or ashamed to have it on his face. Draco thought he should't be ashamed to have something with such a pretty color on his face.

Amber. Amber for the hair of the same fourth year Hufflepuff girl he's seen in the morning. He took no notice of her face nor her body, which was curled and a bit exposed as she talked to the boy Draco tried so hard to ignore. If it weren't for the same yellow hair clip and the fact that she was blocking the door of the Potions class, Draco wouldn't have recognized her.

Red, again, as in the blush that stood against the dark and warm skin of the boy, as it rose just seconds after the girl whispered something to his ear. It must have been a confession.

And then, green again. Green for the eyes that locked with his, and Draco felt himself go frozen as he held his gaze. For some reason, he choose not to interrupt, even if the only entrance was currently blocked by the girl. He wanted to enter the class as soon as possible, but the need to not make any interaction with the green eyed boy was stronger. He watched as the boy with a visible blush, but cold eyes, turned to the girl and whispered something in her ear. The girl's shoulders dropped, her breath hitched, and she quickly apologized before she turned around and Draco could easily see the tears in her eyes. She ran towards the stairs and when Draco turned, he saw green again. Those careful and warm eyes would soon be the death of him.

Orange. Orange for the old shelf which started peeling due to time. Draco took a good look at the shelf, thinking that it might be soon replaced when-

Muddy green, as in the potion that his green eyed partner messed up. Draco was blinking furiously, because instead of the cool icy violet color the potion should have been, it is now this catastrophe. He was so much in thought about not snapping at his partner for messing something as easy like this up, that he didn't notice the potion rise and eventually explode. It was too late for him to avoid the goo, and he was hit directly with it, getting it all over his black bottom up tee and black pants.

There was silence in the classroom, and if Draco cared more, or Merlin forbid, _felt_ something emotionally, he was sure he would have been the one to break the tension. Actually, he was supposed to do that, wasn't he? He looked up and saw that everyone was looking at him, clearly expecting a reaction, and when he locked his eyes with a lovely green and confused gaze he came to his senses and did what his past self always did, snapped at the green eyed boy.

"Not only are you incapable of accepting confessions from younger girls, Potter, but also at brewing a simple potion. " He forced a sneer to go with his weak insult. He didn't really know how to react otherwise.

The confusion from earlier soon became guilt, but it quickly faded to disgust as he took a step away from the platinum blonde.

"Give me a break, will you! If it weren't for you staring into space most of the time then you could've stopped me before I added the wrong thing in! What's so interesting about the shelf anyways? Your eyes should've been focused on the potion instead!" Potter growled making it obvious that he was not backing down and ready for a fight.

The sight would have been amusing for his past self, but for him now, not so much. All he could think about was how his clothes were ruined, and he was feeling sticky all over. He combed through his hair with his hand, not surprised to find the goo drip down from it to the floor. Aside from that the failed potion was making him dizzy, and he just wanted a bath.

"Still doesn't excuse you from being an imbecile." Said Draco sharply as he swooned a little.

Rage flashed through Potter's eyes, but before he could say anything professor Snape took a step towards them successfully breaking the argument. As soon as his eyes laid on Draco, he sent him to the hospital wing quickly because God knows what the potion that exploded was. He shot an annoyed glance towards Pancy and Blaise, whose eyes held concern, but otherwise gave him a wink and thumbs up. However, before he exited the classroom he could hear Snape lecture Potter. Taking points from both of their houses was clearly not enough as he heard how both of them deserve detention for this little stunt they pulled.

Draco closed the door with more strength than necessary.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆ 

White.  


White as in the thin lines that covered both of his arms that were now exposed, red as the new lines that just appeared.  
White as in his hair that lay flat against the library table where he decided to take a break. It had gotten a bit long, and it reminded him of white silk that could be found all over his manor. It was still wet for he had come here after taking a shower and cleaning that gross potion off of his body. After taking a potion that was supposed to reverse any side effect the failed potion had, he headed straight to the library. It was very dark due to it being way past curfew. The full moon shone through the big window, directly where Draco was seated, it being the reason why Draco's hair seemed so white. He took notice of how the stars, with their equality bright light, complimented the mysterious and somehow scary looking full moon. Books were scattered all over the table, but Draco paid no mind to them, as his head lay comfortably on his arms. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. It is soon to be tomorrow. Just a few more minutes and another day would be gone, as well as Draco's life. It seems that watching his entire life go to waste was all he could do now. He listened to the old clock tick and tick and tick, as if it was mocking him that he was running out of time. He signed softly, as he stood up and made his way towards the Slytherin common room. No matter how much he dreaded tomorrow, nor how much he wanted to live his last moments in peace, he still found himself wishing that he was in his bed. No matter how much he hated time, it would still go on, with or without him there to witness it.

Yet, as much as he knew he didn't have a choice, he wanted to see what the future held for those lovely green eyes that never left his mind.

If only tomorrow would never come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it !! It is only the first chapter, and hopefully there will be more to follow.  
> Please send feedback, it motivates me to keep going.  
> Until next time !!  
> -Clementine
> 
> Words: 2548  
> Date: 18.7.2020.


	2. Crimson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

Green. Green as in Draco's silk bedding that he sooner felt rather than saw. His bedding was brand new, downy and rather warm from Draco's body that lay in it for the whole night. It was illuminating the dull colors of the mossy green room, yet not so much that it drastically stood out. It was like a newly grown flower, planted in an old garden full of history and stories, waiting to soon become one of them.

He carefully opened his tired eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the thin light that barely shone through the thick and heavy dark green curtains. He could hear the soft snores of his roommates and friends, carrying a somewhat melody through the dorms in the early hours of the morning. Sluggishly, he sat up, stretching his arms and legs in the process, as the messy and tangled silk sheets slowly slid off of his body, exposing him to the fresh morning air. He shivered at the sudden temperature change, and quickly wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to warm himself up, if only for a bit. He slowly looked around the room and noted that all of his roommates were fast asleep, aside from Blaise who was quietly, but furiously writing on a piece of old, yellowed paper. His books were awkwardly placed on his bed, waiting for the right second to fall off and wake everyone in the room. His frowned, his thick eyebrows pointed out that he was deep in thought, and his frown deepened a little bit as he stopped writing, only to continue a few seconds later. Homework, Draco presumed, which was obviously delayed for the last second, not the first nor the last time. Draco scowled and rubbed his eyes to make the tiredness go away, and he tried to remember why Blaise was doing any homework at all, due to none of the teachers giving them any the day prior.

It utterly flew past Draco's mind that this wasn't the first time that he came across the same sight.

"Were't you supposed to have that already done?", muttered Draco as he drowsy got up and made his way towards the tan boy, trying to suppress a yawn, but failed, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you could've found time yesterday." He narrowed his eyes as he took notice of the Charm and Potion notebooks.

Blaise jumped a little, undoubtedly not expecting for anyone to be awake at this hour, and he slyly looked up and locked his eyes with Draco's.

"Well, good morning to you too mister grumpy." He quietly chuckled as Draco shot him a glare, "And to correct you, no, I couldn't have. Pancy made us go with her shopping yesterday, it was horrible, I mean really!" He put his hand over his mouth for a melodramatic measure, "Not everyone is a study freak like you, you can't honestly expect me to stay up late at night to finish the assignments, I need my beauty sleep." Blaise whined as he took an empty paper and started rapidly writing on it, "Also, your bed hair is horrendous, do something about it."

Draco's hand shot up towards his hair, shamefully petting it down, not believing that he was called out like that. By the sound of Blaise's muffed laugh, he assumed that he was only making it worse. 

"Sounds to me like a lousy excuse for being lazy." He bit back, trying to get his dignity back.

Blaise leered a little, as he huffed out a proud "Maybe-" , and before he could say anything else, a quiet thump could be heard, and both pair of eyes casted downwards, only to be greeted by the reason for their sudden silence.

Black. Black is for the spilled ink that glamorously covered half of Blaise's bed, alongside with his bedding, dark grey pajamas, books and all of his newly written papers. The black liquid was glossy, and it could've been black glass for all that matters. It was mysterious, and it seemed to lure him in as it were to tell him all the secrets of the world. It reminded him of his father's freshly polished shoes.

And Draco steadily blinked as he became fully aware that this didn't happen for the first time, nor did it escape his notice that they went shopping with Pansy two days ago, not yesterday. His head suddenly started hurting, and his stomach growled reminding him that he didn't eat a single thing yesterday. The mistake was on Blaise's part, Draco decided, as it was way too early in the morning to make sense of Blaise's nonsense.

Also, wasn't Draco supposed to be dead by now? 

He shook away the last thought, knowing that the Dark Lord wouldn't finish him right away. Slowly torturing him as he burned out like every singe candle in the manor, one by one, seemed more like his cup of tea. Draco soon found himself wishing that he was already dead, but still couldn't bring himself to feel any need to do something about the situation. It didn't matter to him either way.

The tense silence was broken by a curse, and a loud "Are you kidding me!" from Blaise, and Draco heard a few groans and whines coming from the beds that weren't far away from them, alongside with a sharp "Keep it down, morons!" from Theodore Nott, as he used his pillow to block out the sounds.

Draco exhaustingly watched his friend slowly lose his cool, and he cursed and cursed as he furiously tried to move the dripping paper off of his bed, while intensely making sure not to get any of the black ink on the light green carpet.

"Try not to make this a habit," Draco snickered, as he moved away from Blaise's bed and towards his wardrobe to pick up his clean clothes for the day, "After all, two days in the row of making the same mistake is quite impressive, Blaise." He settled for a dark green, flowy, long sleeved blouse and dark gray pants, "I've never knew you had it in you, keep up the good work and you might just not pass this school year." He took his dark green cloak, ruffling his hair and not bothering to make it pin straight, "Pans and I will greatly miss you.", he faked a cry as he picked up his black shoes and bag and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day, might as well get dressed right away after he's done with his shower.

He forcefully ignored Blaise's cry of "Fuck you! Also this is the first time this happened, excuse you!", as he closed the door behind him, not bothering to keep it quiet at all.

A strange sense of deja vu settled deep within his soul. What a strange morning. 

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆ 

Red, or rather crimson. Crimson for the smooth and warm blood that slowly, yet steady, flowed down both of his forearms, one enduring a lot more damage than the other, for obvious reasons. Draco watched as the mark, that was as dark as Blaise's not so long ago spilled ink, disappeared behind the crimson substance and left agony in its wake. The scene reminded him of melting ice, for as he longer left his arm in his sight, the more damage it would endure, and then he would be left to watch as his skin melted right in front of his gaze and dripped to the wet bathroom floor. Understandably, the feeling of it was noting like melting ice, it was far from actually. The hot and burning pain could only be described as what it exactly was, pain. He could describe it as sitting in front of an enormous fire in a hot and barely endurable summer mid day. It was just unpleasant. 

Draco stared as his yesterday's wounds, which did not have enough time to heal not even a tiny bit, bared the weight of the new ones. They were screaming to be covered up in a bandage and left alone until they healed, and Draco was having none of it. He drew his blade over his skin once again, but this time fully down the middle of his left forearm. He hissed as the new wound hurt a lot more than the other ones, noticing that he accidentally made the cut a bit too deep. His vision became a bit blurry, and he decided that he should clean up the mess, take care of the cuts, get dressed and head to the Great Hall to meet his friends for breakfast. He wondered where the sudden appetite for a cup of coffee came from.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆ 

Red. Red for Pansy's lipstick that surrounded her lips perfectly, making it clear that she spent a lot of time on her makeup this early in the morning.

Blue. Blue for Luna's nail polish that was a bit blotchy, nevertheless very pretty.

Yellow. Yellow for the small butterfly clip which pinned down the long amber hair of a fourth year Hufflepuff girl.

Green. Green for the eyes that were currently watching him from afar.

He took a quick glance towards the attractive boy, making sure to avoid his eyes at all cost. Instead, Draco's eyes traveled across the boy's messy and curly hair, which color reminded him of the deepest dark chocolate he could think of. He held back his thoughts of how it would feel to brush his fingers through it. Draco's eyes suddenly became restless, eager to observe something else, yet he refrained himself of going anywhere else. Alas, he failed, and he passively took notice of the green eyed boy's red crew neck, which held small and delicate gold detailing around the rims. It made him think of-

He quickly averted his eyes.

Draco held in a bored sigh, keeping everything about himself quiet as he drank the hot and bitter coffee. He tried not to take notice of the small gasp of surprise that came from the Gryffindor table, the owner of it being the green eyed boy, who annoyingly enough was his detention partner for the following days. It was way too early for this nonsense.

He watched dully as everything before his eyes came in synch as yesterday's happenings, even Blaise's words and the theft of his blueberry. This time, however, he decided not to comment about his nail polish at all for he did not care in a slightest bit. Also, he got his answer yesterday. They were over that conversation already, bringing it up again would only be weird for all of them.

Brown. Brown as in Blaise's cold and deep eye color that now locked with his, frowning a bit more to come across as melodramatic, clearly annoyed for being ignored by his fellow Slytherin friend.

"Good morning to you too, mister clumsy.", Draco repeated Blaise's words from the morning, smirking a bit at the awkward smile his friend shot him, "Hopefully you solved the little problem from not too long ago, would't want my precious clothing to get ruined by a single drop of that damned ink", he said innocently as he took a second sip from his coffee.

"Oh yeah! All Slytherins already know about it!" Pancy cheered as Draco witnessed another theft of his blueberries, "Honestly! You could've at least thanked Theo for vanishing it away!", she kicked Blaise as hard as she could for stealing her blueberry directly out of her hand, "Everything was left spotless afterwards, rumor has it that he used-", she stood up a bit and carefully leaned in towards the two boys, as she quietly whispered, "Magic.", and with that she dramatically sat down.

"Don't go around spreading rumors about me, Parinkson!", yelled Theo from the other side of the table, "Some people might really believe that I am a wizard, then what!" He faked his paranoia, but slowly replaced it with an eugene smile, "Also, you're welcome Blaise! Make sure that next time you don't wake the whole room up with your cursing. It was really annoying. "

That did the trick for Blaise, whose mood immediately lightened, as he embarrassingly put a hand in front of his mouth, but quickly concealed his shame with a sneer.

"Oh, fuck both of you, I mean really!", he shot a glance towards Pancy, "The queen of pride telling me to thank someone, oh the irony! Is this really how low I've sunk?" He slumped a bit in his seat, but pleasantly satisfied for railing Pansy up, whose eyes suddenly held a lot of fire, clearly ready for a fight.

Draco suppressed the urge to bang his head against the table, again, as it was way too early for this bickering, _again,_. His plate was left untouched for the second time, as he recalled his appetite vanishing. He took a quick glance at his plate, and-

Orange. Such a bright and deep orange, someone could mistake it for a fire.

He looked up from his plate, becoming aware of the ongoing teasing going on between his friends, and-

Red. He took notice of Pancy's red earrings which were the exact same shade as her lipstick.

He got a sinking feeling as he noticed how much the morning reminded him of yesterday, the strange sense of deja vu returning. He looked around the room, trying to find something that he hadn't observed today, trying to make a difference from yesterday, when he locked eyes with pretty green ones. He noted how the eyes reminded him of-

No, Draco was not going to try and find comfort in the eyes of none other than Harry Potter. If he was about to break down completely, then so be it.

"Let's go.", he said as he quickly gulped down his last sip of coffee, suppressing a gag as the bitter taste of the coffee burned down his throat. He pushed his plate away from him as it were poison, and it felt as it were the second time he's done that. "Herbology is first, and excuse me for not wanting to clean the green house as a punishment for being late."

His friends took notice of his actions yet again, but their concerned glances soon turned to confusion as they watched their platinum blonde friend stand up and take out his Herbology book. Draco flipped through a few pages, going over them and making sure he was prepared for the class. Luckily, they didn't have any homework for today, but it gave him ease when he made sure he had everything memorized for the day, even if Herbology was one of his least favorite subjects.

Draco didn't realize that none of his two friends neither got up from the table nor followed him as he slowly move towards the heavy doors, book opened in his hands and head bowed downwards as he read quietly through the last weeks lessons. Only when Pancy carefully called out to him did he stop and turned around. He raised an eyebrow and waited for the both of them to get up. They both did, and he became fully aware of their awkward glances they were sharing between each other. If anything, it irked him that neither of them was saying anything.

"Okay, spill it." He said impatiently as the both of them approached him.

Blaise took a step too close for Draco's personal liking, but he decided not to take one back only when he saw the concern in his eyes, that Blaise badly hid behind his playful smirk. He put both of his hands on Draco's shoulders, getting his full attention.

"You might want to take that book back to our room and switch it for the Charms book instead,", he carefully said like he was scolding a child, their height difference not doing Draco any favors, "Otherwise, you'll be the only one late for class." He smirked as he hand up his arms and shrugged, "Although, that would be quite interesting! I'd like to find out what Flitwick would say. Don't make the poor man sad, Draco!" He faked a gasp and slowly made his way towards the doors.

"That, and,", Pancy said as she took the chance to swings herself over the two boys, "It must be horrible to carry so many books at once! Think about you back!", she pet him over his back and continued to talk about who knows what, clearly wanting to be the center of the conversation.

There was the same mean joke about her normal weight that came from Blaise, and the same hit from Pancy's side. However, this time, Draco couldn't bring himself to enjoy Blaise's earned hit as the feeling of dread, that he so desperately tried to ignore since this early morning, came crushing him back at full force. He tried ignoring it again and again, tried making himself forget about it. He wanted to go back to his room and get the damned book and just move on with the day as it were any other _normal_ day, but-

But he couldn't since there were no 'normal days' to begin with.

"Hey,", he said slowly and carefully, fearing as if anything he says right now will only lead to chaos, "Just wondering what date today is?".

Pancy and Blaise both looked at him with curiosity, confusion clear in their eyes. Blaise opened the door without any thought, and the three of them slipped into the long hallway.

Pancy softly smiled, her long eyelashes fluttering lovingly, "It's October 1st, of course!", and she continued with the conversation she held prior to Draco's question.

None of them noticed Draco's hitch of breath, nor him slowing down his pace and stare into space. None, other than the pair of lovely green eyes that were on the opposite side of the hall.

And finally, the realization hit him that tomorrow never came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, and thank you for reading !! This is actually the second time I'm writing this chapter, since I accidentally deleted it the first time. I was really defeated afterwards and had no motivation to write it again, but I finally did it and I'm glad. Thank you so much for the feedback, you have no idea how much it means !! Sorry about any mistakes, English in not my first language and I am self taught, so I'm trying my best.  
> Until next time.~  
> -Clementine  
> Words: 2996  
> Date: 28.7.2020.


	3. Cyan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

Pink. Pink for the shoelaces of a fifth year Ravenclaw in his Charms class whom Draco never paid attention before.

Violet. Violet for the birthmark of a fourth year Gryffindor in his Astronomy class.

Amber. Amber for the hair of the same fourth year Hufflepuff girl he's seen in the morning, this would count the second time, and he found her in the same position of blocking the Potions door with her body curved and a bit exposed, a sight he's also seen already once. He cursed his luck for not remembering this random run in with Harry before he headed down the dungeons, without Pancy and Blaise who were most likely causing trouble in the hallways upstairs. Now, his eyes would have to be a victim of witnessing a failed confession, for the second time already, and he leaned a bit on a wall with his arms crossed as he waited for the scene to repeat itself so he could finally get into the classroom and get his books and homework ready for the class. 

What he did not expect, however, was the sudden lack of that pretty scarlet red on the warm skin of the green eyed boy's cheeks, even after the gorgeous girl whispered the same confession in his ear.

And then, green. Green for the warm eyes that locked with Draco's cold ones. 

Draco wouldn't lie when he said he was prepared for the sudden passive interaction, but somehow he found himself frozen yet again, for the same moment that happened yesterday, for some reason, felt in its own way different. All of a sudden he felt the need to break off the eye contact the both of them shared, so unlike yesterday, an unexpected wave of discomfort spreading through his whole body. Something felt out of place here, but he couldn't exactly pinpoint what. It might have been the knowing and expecting look Harry sent him, as if to say he already knew that Draco was there witnessing the whole thing. Or it might have been the sudden small smirk, which anyone else less observant than Draco would downright miss, as if to prove that his expectation was right, and Draco was there indeed standing and waiting for the whole thing to be over.

The same reaction he got from the girl after the boy with green eyes, which suddenly became oddly cold, whispered the expected rejection somehow brought ease to his throbbing soul, and he watched as she bowed, and quickly ran towards the stairs, trying to hide, and failing, her tears as they soon began to drip from her eyes. Draco refused to meet the boys gaze again, for he knew about the warm and careful look he would see, and he passed through Harry, making him get out of his way, forcefully ignoring the burning look he felt at the back of his head as he entered the classroom.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆ 

Only after Harry was forced to share his book with him did Draco regret his decision of not going back to his room to switch up the useless books with today's lessons ones. Draco observed Harry's Potions book as it was barely holding itself together, but somehow still screamed the words of almost never being opened nor used. Messy doodles decorated today's potion page, and he could hardly makes sense of most of them. If it wasn't for the light green color and orange flames, he would have never guessed for a random doodle to be a dragon. Nor for the yellow glob to be a falling star, and for his personal favorite one, a softly and poorly done cloud with a harsh lighting bolt. Draco wanted to smile fondly at it, if it wasn't for the annoying fact he could only just read the ingredients for the potion.

"Aside from the horrible things you did to your book, I mean honestly,", Draco grumbled as he carefully cut a coral colored plant into tiny pieces for the potion, "You're not even good at drawing. Is there anything you _can_ do?", he finished cutting and carefully put the knife down, looking over the freshly cut plant and making sure it was done perfectly.

He blocked out any sound that came from Harry, deciding that the conversation was not worth it, and in the meantime decided to take a closer look at the plant.

Orange, it reminded him of the yesterday's old shelf, that was still there in the classroom not far from him. But this time, the color was more warmer and a bit lighter, thus making it a coral color, not fully orange. Draco normally compared orange and other warm toned colors to warm fall days, blossoming spring and fire, but this time, the plant reminded him of none of it. It somehow made him think of hot summer sun rays bouncing off of the shallow surface of a small pond, that was in the middle of a tangerine tree forest. The smell of the plant did not match its color at all, as it was sour and a bit bitter, making it clear that on its own it was almost not edible at all. Draco noted the small seeds of the plant, surprisingly a deep violet color, and he prepared himself to mix in the last ingredient into the potion at exactly 6:45 pm, that was less than a minute away. At least, tried to prepare himself. As he looked up from his chopping board, he was met with a muddy green.

Except, it wasn't a muddy green, but a dark cyan instead.

The dark green and blue cyan reminded him of a pin his father used to wear when he was younger. It was a long time ago, but Draco still remembered every detail of the delicate pin. The pin was rather expensive, but nevertheless not his father's first choice. Its gold rimming made up for the thin but elegant stone. The dull color didn't do any justice to his father's ties, that being a reason for it being thrown away, forgotten somewhere in the manor. Draco remembered looking for it as a young kid, treating it like a treasure waiting to be discovered. However, no matter how hard he looked, he never found it, and soon he lost all interest in finding it whatsoever. The treasure remained hidden till this day.

He heard Harry's soft curse, and soon enough found a pair of green and angry eyes on him. He could never be able to explain the rush of heat he suddenly felt all over his body, it made him confused and restless, and he didn't want to deal with it right now when he could feel an argument slowly rising in the air.

"You know,", Harry started quietly, but his voiced raised its level with no effort, "A simple 'no' could've done the trick of not creating this mess.", he huffed out slowly while mentioning to the potion.

"Oh?", Draco said while crossing his arms, "So it's completely my own fault now?"

"Yes!", Harry bit out, "Are you even aware what I asked you not even a minute ago?", he recalled himself, "'Hey, is it alright for me to put this in now?', and since you didn't answer I assumed it was!"

Draco huffed a bit, his face fully blank. For a matter of fact, no, he was not aware.

His look seemed to anger the other boy even more, and he opened his mouth ready to strike back with an insult that already laid on his tongue, but Draco didn't have the will to deal with this now so he put up his hand as to mention for Harry to not even bother. It didn't fully halt Harry's wrath, but it did leave him a bit confused and Draco used the second to move forward towards their cauldron.

"Let's just get rid of this and start anew. We still have enough time to finish it.", he mentioned towards the potion that was starting to bubble a little. He looked it all over, and when he decided that it was not going to explode, like the first time, he touched it a bit and regretted the decision right after. He winced a bit as he quickly withdrew his right hand, hiding it from the world's eyes.

"What's wrong?", Harry asked as he quickly came to his side.

"Nothing, just..", he started as he took a step back from the cauldron, nearly bumping into the other boy. He realized how the potion became hotter and hotter each second passed, and the room suddenly felt rather warm, "The cauldron is extremely hot, we shouldn't touch it.", he tried not to wince again at the burning he felt on his hand. "Let's call the professor.", but before he could call out to Snape, he felt a soft touch on his right wrist which made him stop in his tracks.

"Didn't you just touch it?", asked Harry mentioning towards Draco's right hand, still not letting go of his wrist, clearly worried, "Shouldn't we check your palm first?"

Draco almost laughed at the sudden change of Harry's mood, and noted how the whole room felt way too hot. He dreadfully realized it was not from all of the confusing feelings he got every time him and Harry were close, but from the potion that now seemed to smoke a bit.

"Aren't you the sweetest?", he smirked as he ripped his hand from Harry's grip, "I wonder what that sweet Hufflepuff girl would do only so she could see your pathetic face right now,", Draco took pride in the sudden anger that crossed Harry's face, he noted how his hands were clenched and how the other boy tried to contain himself from doing something he might regret later. "Probably everything, even cry a bit more. I don't think she shed enough tears today, don't you agree?", Draco couldn't explain what, but something about making Harry Potter furious gave him so much satisfaction.

"You don't have any right-", the other boy said, with each word his voice becoming louder, but his words were interrupted by the unexpected presence of their professor.

"Mister Potter.", Severus Snape said, "No yelling in my classroom, 50 points from Gryffindor.", Draco smiled at Harry's groan, and then Snape carefully looked towards their potion, and immediately stopped his steps, a bit of panic in his eyes and the same second he vanished their cauldron. "A few seconds longer,", their professor warned, "And the whole classroom could have gone up in flames.", he looked unamused at Harry's short look of panic and Draco's shift of eyes towards the floor. He took a glimpse at Draco's hidden hand. "Mister Malfoy,", he caught the attention of the white haired teen, and didn't miss the uneasy look the same teen gave him, "Hospital, now.", he said as he dismissed him.

Draco quickly packed all of his belongings and walked towards the door, being fully aware of the almost impossible to ignore pain, and shot a glance towards Pancy and Blaise. The whole classroom was aware of the present happenings, so when the both of the shot him a wink and thumbs up, he felt better for closing the door with more strength than necessary after he heard their earned detention.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

Pink. The burn reminded him of so many shades of darker and lighter red and pink. His indecisiveness of not being able to pick a color for the burn started to bother him and made him feel uneasy, so he decided to settle with pink. Or maybe a salmon red. Or maybe a deep coral-

He forcefully looked away. Describing colors was not supposed to be stressful for him, it rarely happened, but when it did he quickly tried to find something else to catch his attention before he could have a meltdown. That something being his burn again, but its texture instead of its color this time. It's way bumpy, swollen and it had painful and angry blisters all over, His skin seemed to have melted in a few spots, leaving a deep purple mark behind. He cringed at how his veins screamed at him in pain, and how the whole thing looked like a mess and it was such a nuisance. He couldn't even move his hand, let alone close it. it was such a bother, he hated it and he wanted it gone. Bruises and cuts, that he could handle, but burns? Burns were something he had no intentions of experiencing, let alone having the consequences to deal with. 

He walked out of the hospital wing the second after Madam Pomfrey handed him a calming balm, which would hopefully get rid of the burn sooner rather than later. He didn't bother to thank her nor be respectful, and before he closed the door without saying goodbye, he heard a quiet displeasing sigh. He used the balm right after he closed the door, halting before it, and carefully smearing it all over his palm. He exhaled a sigh in relief when he felt the pain calming itself, and noticed the balm started its magical healing right away. He stretched his hand a few times, and soon enough he could close it. He skin impressively regrew not soon after, and he gave a pleasing smile when he saw a pale shade of white cover the ugly mess behind it. It did leave a huge pink scarred tissue behind, but he was told it would soon disappear as well.

He put the balm into his cloak's pockets and headed towards the library, since he remembered himself doing so yesterday might as well do it again. Draco made sure to remember using the balm on his fresh cuts as well, since he already had it he could use it until he ran out of it so he would't mindlessly waste it.

The halls were almost empty due to their curfew approaching, only a few students were still out sneaking around, either gathering their last sources for homework or meeting someone in private. He could have sworn he saw a flash of a Ravenclaw blue and a Gryffindor red quickly hide itself around the corner, Luna's white blonde hair and the other girl's bright ginger hair unmistakable. It reminded him of the time Theo and him did the same thing, probably for the exact same reasons as well. It was such a long time ago, but he remembered the snogging, cuddling, and spending their time in each other's presence, just breathing and being alive. He couldn't help but smile fondly at it, his mood a bit lightened. That is until he bumped into no other than the source of all of his problems.

The boy quickly turned around, surprise written all over his face, "There you are!", he said and he frowned when he took notice of Draco's sudden blank stare.

Maybe it might have been a bit harsh saying that the handsome boy before him was the main cause for his miserable decisions. Deep down, Draco knew he himself was being responsible for all the actions he took and all of the consequences those actions had. Yet blaming all of his wrongs on someone else felt so much better.

"Just my luck, I guess.", Draco forcefully said, wanting the whole conversation to end, "Yes? Is there anything you may want from me?"

"Well for starters,", Harry said as he mentioned towards Draco's bag, "Giving back my books would be helpful. I still might need them tomorrow, again."

It took Draco a moment to realize what Potter was referring to. Just then did he remember forcefully packing his bag in class with not his books, which he glamorously left in his room, but Potter's instead. He would later deny the fact of blushing and becoming an embarrassed mess after realizing his mistake. The 'again' was left unnoticed.

He carefully opened his bag with his right hand, and steadily, to not try embarrass himself further, handed the book into Harry's hand. "There.", he said and he tried to push past Potter, but to stop when he heard his voice which was clearly addressed to him.

"What about my notebook?", Harry said as he showed his books into his bag, "Not that it has anything written in it, really, but it might become useful at some point."

Draco huffed and turned around, and with the same hand took the notebook out of his bag and handed it to Harry. "There, anything else?", he sneered a bit.

Harry's hand lingered a bit longer on the notebook as they accidentally touched than it should have, and suddenly Draco felt a bit exposed. Harry's eyes casted downwards, taking note of their still touching hands. His eyebrows raised a bit as he took notice of Draco's still not fully healed hand.

"I knew it!", he yelled while finally taking his notebook and putting it in his bag, "I knew you were hurt!", he repeated and he locked his eyes with Draco's, "Your stubbornness cost my house 50 points, just so you know!"

Draco huffed as he hid both of his arms behind his back, away from the prying eyes. "Yeah, so? Wasn't my fault for making whatever that was back then." He took a few steps back ready to finish their conversation.

"Why you-", Harry started before he realized that Draco was slowly but surely moving away. "Hey! Is your hand at least okay?"

Harry asked, but Draco had already enough space between them to continue walking down the hall, towards his room since he didn't feel like going to the library anymore. He acknowledged Harry's question and moved his right hand up and waved, as to say "Stop bothering me, goodbye.", leaving the darker boy behind, all by himself in the hallway.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

After fooling around for a bit with his roommates, listening to Pansy's nagging and Blaise's teasing, Draco decided to take a break and lay on his bed and just..breathe. That was a few hours ago, and he still found himself unable to do just that. All of his friends went to sleep, he could tell so by their melodic snores, and he was aware of the full moon illuminating the whole castle announcing that midnight is soon to come. Draco wondered if yesterday or today was a just a fever dream, that surely made much more sense than the day repeating itself. The constant thinking about everything and nothing at the same time tired Draco out, and he was so _tired_ of it, he decided to think about it tomorrow if the day repeated itself again.

It just then hit him how much he didn't mind the day repeating itself over and over again. He would never have to face the Dark Lord, nor did he have to kill Dumbledore. He would never have to worry about saving his family again, and he felt like he could finally breathe after all this time. If it meant avoiding all of his problems, he was more than ready to sacrifice all of the following days for the rest of his life.

And again for the second time, he hoped tomorrow would never come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support !!! It means so much, you guys have no idea. I wrote this chapter two times since I didn't like how it looked like at first. I saved the previous version because I might use it in the next chapter, hopefully I'll write it soon.  
> Until next time ~~  
> -Clementine  
> (Also, I might edit the previous chapters, I'm thinking about changing the first one completely. Still don't know about it tho, so please don't be surprised IF it happens.)  
> Words: 3203  
> Date: 6.8.2020.


	4. Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

Draco Malfoy has always been an only child. He could not once remember the time when he wished for a little sister or a little brother, he would rather choose none of them. He would always have everything for himself, every desire he had has been handed to him by the gentle and warm hands of his loving mother. He had never had to look after something, nor think about sharing a single thing, everything belonged only to him. However, being able to get whenever and whatever he wanted, he had never learnt to treasure things with care nor meaning. All of the expensive presents were just objects to cure his childish cries for attention, objects which soon he grew bored of in a spam of a few days and would lay forgotten until it was time to throw them out and get rid of them. Draco would never miss them nor think about them twice, if it wasn't something worth catching his interest, it might as well be forgotten over time. He was bound to be spoiled rotten, only if it wasn't for his father's unbearably strict temper which unexpectedly appeared on his eight birthday. Ever since then, he learned to respect and cherish the things he had, for he knew they were temporary and once he would lose them, they would stay lost until the end of times. Whether it being some of his material possessions, hobbies, interests, or people he held close to his heart.

There was no second chance of getting them back once lost.

However, Lucius' sudden change of heart, his sudden scolding, beating, neglect and abuse, did not change the fact that he was still an only child growing up. Till this day, Draco is still thankful for not having to protect anyone from Lucius' cruel wrath, for he would never touch his mother. Only him.

Sharing a room with a bunch of noisy teenagers, for already six years, never made the fact of getting woken up easier. He found himself missing his younger self's days of having his whole quiet bedroom to himself, never appreciating the damned room until he came to Hogwarts and had to share one.

When he opened his eyes he was met with the same mossy green color of the room he came to dread. He would prefer the room to scream wealth, elegance and power, but it was carrying the consequences from enduring the poor actions and choices from a few teenagers instead. He moved while untangling himself from his sheets, getting into a sitting position and looking around the room for the source of the sudden yell which woke him up. To no surprise at all, it was Blaise's cursing and his famous act of spilling ink. The mysterious glassy black of the ink brought him a warm sort of feeling in his chest as he realized, for the second time, that tomorrow never came. He allowed himself to relax and fondly smile a bit, for he knew what the day held for him before hand.

"Whoa!", Blaise roared when he looked at him, "How come you're smiling this early, you gave me quite the scare!", he smirked a bit towards Draco's direction, only for the smirk to fall off when he realized he got the ink not only all over himself, but a big bunch of it on the carpet as well, "Dammit! No, no, fuck!", he swore when he tried wiping it off, but all he did was smear it even more.

"Well, for starters,", Draco smugly said when he looked at an uneasy Blaise who was tensely kneeling on the floor, making an even bigger mess than it already was, "I'm not the one who spilled ink all over himself first thing in the morning."

"How mean!", Blaise yelled while he thumped a bit with his foot, but before he could say anything else, a groggy Theodore Nott suddenly sat up, and sent Blaise a look of clear anger and disgust.

"Okay, first of all,", Theo started, voice on edge and heavy with sleep, "If you don't shut your mouth now, spilling ink won't be your only problem this early.", he threatened and Draco found himself helplessly looking at the messed up hair of the handsome and fit boy, "Secondly, just vanish it away, you're a wizard for fuck's sake!", he clicked his tongue, and hurriedly laid his head on his pillow, closed his eyes, already ready to get a few more hours of sleep before he had to get up.

"But I've never leaned how to do that!", Blaise whined a bit and didn't bother to keep his voice down, Theodore's warning falling deaf to his ears, "Theo! You know how to do that, right? Come and help a bloke out, mate!".

"Zabini, you idiot!", Theo yelled as he forcefully sat up again, eyes glaring into the loud and annoying boy, his attractive face scrunched and full of anger. That anger completely disappeared when his eyes shifted towards Draco, who was still looking at him and fidgeting a bit with his fingers.

Draco was hit with nostalgia when he saw how dark the other boy's eyes were, like glassy and black marbles. He perfectly remembered their color after all those nights when both of them tried to find themselves in each other's touch. Nobody knew Draco better than the marble eyed boy, not after all those long nights. Theo knew everything about him, even about the angry red lines which marked both of his arms. Before, he made sure to take care into softly stroking them while promising him that everything was going to be alright. It never did, but Theo didn't need to know that. Just remembering them made him think of a fresh spring morning, the one where the whole nature wakes up and comes alive. Like the first sip of the hot, minty morning tea.

They were never together, no, they just helped one another out into finding out about their sexual preference, maybe a bit more times than they should have. They did come to an agreement though, one rule which was strictly followed, 'Whatever this is, don't call it love'. It helped them control their feelings, and kept them from accidentally developing feeling which would only be in the way and start drama later on. At the end both of them were ready to accept that they like boys. That was at least a year ago, but Draco remembers it well enough as if it was yesterday.

"Hey, you.", he said in a soft voice, his face holding a fond smile and Draco couldn't help but smile back a bit. Theodore always had a soft spot for him. "Did he wake you up as well?"

"Yeah,", he nodded, successfully keeping out a whine, "But I took it quite well, unlike you.", Draco knew how Theodore was not a morning person, and he could't help but tease the other boy.

"Oh, I think I'm going to vomit,", whispered Blaise as he looked between the two boys, his whole pajama still full of ink, "Think you're done with that? I still need help, you know!"

Theo's gaze shifted towards Blaise, a sudden glint in his eyes, "Only if you ask nicely, it's not that hard, c'mon.", he mischievously smiled as he heard Blaise's gasp, sleep long gone from his features.

"Over my dead body!", the darker boy yelled, and by the look of a few annoyed groans, successfully woke up everyone else in the room.

Draco took this as his cue to leave. He stood up, stretched a bit, gathered his things and made his way towards the bathroom, looking forward to taking a long and warm shower. He made sure to pack the right books this time, checking if all of his homework was still in place. When it was, he picked out his outfit for the day, a black thin long sleeved v neck, dark green buttoned cardigan to put over the shirt, black pants and shoes and made his way out of the room. Lastly, he took his dark green Slytherin robes, and softly closed the door.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

The bathroom scene did repeat itself as well, Draco desperately noted, but unlike anything else, the scene would have repeated itself with or without the loop. It happened day after day, all the time, there was no avoiding it.

Crimson, again. Crimson for the smooth and warm blood that slowly, yet steady, flowed down both of his forearms, one enduring a lot more damage than the other, for obvious reasons. Draco wondered how many times he would have to do this until there was no room left for the blade to leave its mark. Not much, it would seem, for he could almost not recognize neither of his arms due to the cuts and injuries. The moment might as well been a murder scene, for how much damage he made for that much blood to pour out. Not only did he inflict new cuts, he reopened the old ones as well, going over them a few times before making sure there was no way of healing them anytime soon.

This time, however, the blood was way deeper of a red than he could remember his usual cuts being. He must have hit a vein. The red screamed of being stopped and done something about, not only that but his consciousness as well. White dots like snowflakes appeared all over his vision, and he was reminded of the first snowy day of Christmas here at Hogwarts. It was a memory he always held close, even the harsh wind or freezing temperature could not ruin the day he spent with his friends. It was a simpler time, for he couldn't care less about those things right now when he had a lunatic to control his life.

He gipped the edges of the sink, trying to calm the dizziness that washed all over him. He had to eat something as soon as possible, he made sure to remember.

❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

The morning went on as the last two todays. The red, blue, yellow color formation, Pansy's and Blaise's bickering and him avoiding the green eyes. However, this time, his eyes caught a glimpse of burnt red he hasn't seen until the third today.

Moreover, the burnt red of Harry's muggle hoodie.

The burnt red reminded him of a calming sunrise in the late hours of an autumn evening, it was gentle and warm and it made him feel at ease. He found warmth in the color, it made him think of a beach full of seashells and sandcastles which were waiting to be destroyed eaither by the sea itself or the heat. There was a glistening tention between the two boys, as Draco took in every detail of the new found color. New, because Harry didn't wear the hoodie yesterday, unlike everyone with their clothes besides Draco in the room.

Draco quickly looked down, his beating heart doing him no justice at all. He started eating, slapping away the prying hands which were about to steal his fruits, and ignored the stare and small gasp of the green eyed boy. Today, he didn't feel like drinking coffee.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

Pink. Violet. Amber. And a denied confession.

After handing in his homework, he went back to his seat, took out his books and started preparing for the class.

But then, he felt a soft gaze on him.

"Remebered to bring your books today?", Harry said as he shot him a teasing glance, "Who would have though! Don't tell me you got already bored of mine? I was even prepared to share again!"

But Draco paid him no mind to answer. The more he denied that one fact which was bugging him since yesterday's today, the longer he would be able to live in his own created world of time repeating itself over and over again. This was a world where Draco couldn't make mistakes, where his actions didn't matter, where he could do whatever he wanted without thinking about consequences. This was a world which he always wanted to have, even if it was only made up and full of lies.

Instead, he concentrated on the lovely shade of the magenta glasses a Ravenclaw girl in front of him wore.

Magenta. A very rare color to catch Draco's attention, due to it being bright and loud, most of the time it only made his head hurt. But today, it was well welcomed like a distraction from the situation he had with Harry. The magenta reminded him of jewels, diamonds, and everything expensive and hard to find. He noted how the color shimmered every time the girl moved, like glossy plastic which it was obliviously made of.

Then, a shout and a failed potion.

He slowly turned his head towards the direction where he knew the green eyed boy would be, preparing himself to come across a muddy green or boring cyan.

At least, he hoped so at first, and soon enough proved to himself to be the one in the wrong. He was surprised to be greeted with an acid yellow instead, and he almost covered his nose at the disgusting aroma of the failed potion. The potion was still supposed to be a cool, icy violet. This was far from it.

The acid yellow reminded him of something dangerous, something that you weren't supposed to touch at all. He never really liked yellow, he would always struggle to compare it to something, and would boringly say it reminded him of summer days, but also to sparkling dusk, a lot of flowers he saw around Hogwarts and his mother's well loved gold jewellery, which she proudly wore day after day, almost all the time.

The smell matched the color perfectly. It smelt dangerous, like something that wasn't supposed to be there at all, something that could bring damage if it wasn't solved soon enough. The smoke that was slowly spreading through the room was the same acid yellow like color, and Draco realized it might be poison, or it might be Merlin knows what else, Potter could've made anything.

There was silence in the classroom, and Draco faintly progressed when Potter took a few steps back, cursed a loud "Not again!", and quickly brought up his hand to his nose to protect it from the spicy, rotting smell. Draco hardly progressed anything, from the loud chaos that escalated quickly in the room, to Pansy and Blaise calling out to him, telling him to just move due to them not daring to take a step closer to the smoke.

Potters 'again' utterly flew past his attention, since he was slowly dissociating and losing his senses. His vision was getting blurry, and all of the colors in the classroom started mixing together. Draco noted as the once coral chopped up flower with deep violet seeds, which he cut to pieces beforehand, became foggy and soon that acid yellow. No matter how many times he blinked, the yellow would never leave his sight, and he was once again reminded just how much he despised the color. He couldn't pick up any scent at all anymore, as he was fully surrounded by yellow smoke and found it hard to breathe. His lungs were burning, begging him to take a breath, but he couldn't move, couldn't find fresh air-

If it wasn't for a pair of strong but gentle hands that yanked him out of the smoke, and slowly yet firmly led him to the furthest part of the classroom, Draco was sure he would have collapsed then and there. It was an embarrassing enough thought, he never liked being the center of attention in his weakest moments, so he was thankful for the clean and fresh air. He waited a bit, and soon enough, everything became a bit clearer and he was more or less able to become aware of the surroundings around him. 

It wasn't left unnoticed how this situation didn't happened in the two todays, nor how Darco's words nor actions weren't the one to change the flow of the happenings as they did until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope everyone's doing fine and keeping themselves safe. I finished this chapter at at least 7000 words, so I cut it in half. The decision made it easier for me to update the next chapter sooner than I've planned! Until then !! Thank you so much for the support, it means a lot!!! I'm really glad that there are a few of you guys liking my writing style and storyline!!  
> Please remeber you're loved ♡♡  
> -Clementine
> 
> Words: 2696  
> Date: 10.8.2020.


	5. Lavender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

The first thing he noticed, while he was still in a bit of a daze, was the fact that he was sitting on an old and well used table, Snape's table to be exact, legs over the edge, and Draco wouldn't argue if anyone pointed out his sudden stiffened posture. 'How muggle like', he thought when he felt how uncomfortable the hard and cold desk was, he almost preferred sitting on the dirty floor. He struggled a bit to get comfortable due to the same hands that were now on his shoulders, keeping him firmly in place. He slumped as he gave up on moving off of the table, or moving at all, feeling way too drained to fight off the owner of the hands.

The second thing he realized was a fresh scent of dried herbs and lavender. It made him feel safe and warm, and he fought off the urge to give into his instincts of just burring his nose into the source of the scent and drift into a well welcomed slumber. Somehow, the scent calmed him down and he hasn't felt safe in a long time. It reminded him of the old flower shop his friends and him visited not too long ago. The section with the dried flowers and herbs was his favorite one, and the scent made him miss the place more than he'd like to admit.

The third and final thing he became faintly aware of was a lovely shade of green, finally something other than that bright yellow. A deep and mysterious green which he so desperately yearned to explore, he wanted to, he had to-

But he couldn't, for the green belonged to the chocolate haired boy, none other than Harry Potter, and he'd be damned if he found any comfort in the Chosen One at all.

When Draco's vision cleared and he became fully aware of his surroundings, he took notice of how close the other boy actually was. Harry was looking all over him, up and down, with poorly disguised worry and concern, and he stood way too close for Draco's personal liking. He was right in front of him, a bit higher up due to Draco sitting, directly in between his legs, holding Draco's shoulder down with both of his hands. Draco felt how Harry relaxed when he saw just how much Draco's eyes cleared, his hands slowly losing their grip and carefully sliding up and down his arms, as an attempt to comfort the white blond teen. However, the act had a completely opposite effect, and Draco tried his best to hide his discomfort and enjoy Harry's soft and careful touch. Every time Harry's hands would brush against both of his forearms, Draco would suppress a flinch, and try his best to ignore the pain that came from his freshly cut arms, hoping that none of them would reopen. One would think that Harry could see right through his facade, when he slowly and thoughtfully stopped stroking his arms, giving him one last squeeze of comfort, and he finally let go of Draco completely and put his hands in his pockets. However, he did not move one inch, stubbornly keeping his place between Draco's legs, and Draco couldn't help but wonder if he was still worried for him to fall over. Draco shamelessly realized just how much he missed Harry's touch, and that was the exact moment he figured out how nice Harry smelt, the scent of lavender hitting him harder than before. The realization of that was only plain on embarrassing, and he could feel a familiar warmth in his cheeks that was more than unwelcomed.

He blinked a few times, tried to calm his quickened heartbeat down, and finally looked up and around the room only to be greeted by an empty classroom.

"Snape dismissed the class early,", said Harry as he followed Draco's glance around the room, "Also, he said something about me being downright crazy for trying to kill everyone in our class,", he turned his attention towards Draco, chuckled awkwardly and used his right hand to get his hair out of his face. Draco's eyes followed his movements, 'Pretty', he thought, "Apparently, I accidentally made some type of poison, to be honest I didn't listen to Snape's unnecessary yelling so I don't remember much of what he said,", he sheepishly shrugged, "But you were the only one affected by it, so I stayed with you to make sure you were okay until Snape finds an antidote.", he finished with a tense smile.

"How long ago,", Draco suppressed a cough, "Was that?"

"Hmm,", Harry hummed as he stopped to think a little, "It might have been half an hour since he left the classroom.", His eyes narrowed in deep thought a bit as he recalled what happened, "He could have already found the antidote and the both of us could have had all of this behind us, only if it wasn't for Parkinson making an enormous fuss about it.", Harry sighed a little and fixed his glasses that were slowly sliding down, "I mean honestly, she was yelling and screaming at everyone and everything, especially me! Zabini tried to calm her down before Snape gave her detention, didn't really work since she got it anyways.", he huffed softly, "If you concentrate hard enough you can still hear her screaming in the hall, Snape charmed the door so no one aside from him could come in, it's still a bit dangerous in here."

When Draco did the exact thing Harry suggested, he suppressed the urge to facepalm his head when he heard Pansy's quiet shrieking somewhere down the hall.

"You gave them quite the scare, you know,", Harry thoughtfully said, "Not only was Parkinson worried, but Zabini as well. Though, he hid it surprisingly well.", he smirked at the last part. Was the bastard teasing him?

"I gave them a scare?", Draco took on the bait, and decided to give his best sneer, "Maybe if you stopped sabotaging our work, there wouldn't be anything like this to begin with!"

"How come it's only my problem when you are the one who keeps ignoring me!", Harry crossed his arms, caught Draco's stare and narrowed his eyes, "What was so interesting that you weren't able to answer my simple question?", he took a small step back, still directly holding Draco's gaze. Draco could swear he saw him hesitate for a bit, and he suddenly became aware of how much nervous Harry seemed. But, soon enough, Harry found his bravado yet again as he put on a brave and serious face, "Not only today, but with the shelf and the plant from yesterday as well! How come they both caught your attention while I couldn't! It's not fair!", Harry rambled and stiffly shook his head in disbelief, "Honestly, what do I have to do for you to pay attention to me at least for a little bit?"

But Draco didn't hear anything else after the second Harry mentioned the shelf.

He suddenly felt an unpleasant cold sensation all over his body and he tried his hardest to blame the discomforting feeling on the side effects of the poison, but he miserably failed for he knew what the cause for it really was. No one has mentioned two yesterday's potion accidents for all Draco can remember, and that by itself was more than enough to wind up his concerns. Surely one of the Slytherins would have brought it up, at least once or a few times, even as a joke with a goal to make fun of him and tease him. Pancy would have surely used the opportunity to start some kind of gossip about Harry around the school, yet she didn't. Neither did any of thr Slytherins mention it, it seemed like everyone forgot, so Draco cut it off as something unimportant. Something that didn't happen at all.

What he didn't expect, however, was for Potter to suddenly bring it up.

Draco broke off their shared eye contact, unexpectedly feeling exposed, and tried to concentrate on anything else but the boy in front of him. He was getting overwhelmed by the unasked attention from the other boy, and hoped Snape would soon open the door and return, hopefully not empty handed. It was way easier pretending that everything was alright, not thinking about it the whole time and just enjoying the piece of knowing what'll happen next. It was way too nice to just not think for once and he could easily avoid his every problem without feeling guilty about it. He would not let Potter take away his safe space from him. Even after he lowered his his eyes to observe the rather nice looking rug, he could still feel the burning eyes of the other boy on him, and he hated how Harry could read him so easily, how he could expose him just like that, he hated it so, so much that it affected him like this. He just wanted him to look away and leave him alone until he calmed his beating heart and uneven breathing.

The rug was very unique, the tiny detailing was an emerald looking green, it reminded him of-

Of the lovely green eyes he was suddenly met with after the same boy's hand brought his chin up and made him pay attention to him.

"You're doing it again!", the charming boy said tensely and he frowned a little, his small pout perfect against his lips. Draco's personal space was absolutely forgotten, as he felt Harry take a step closer than before, his right hand firmly under his chin and the left one next to Draco's right thigh on the table. He was leaning in a bit, and Draco became perfectly aware of how close the both of them were. 'Not close enough', Draco thought and felt himself get suddenly hot under Harry's touch.

Both of the boys kept each other's gazes, suddenly a playful and challenge like atmosphere appearing. Each one dared the other one to do something, but neither of them knew what that something was.

A quiet and annoyed sigh could be heard behind Harry, and then both of the boys realized neither of them heard the door opening nor closing. Both of them flushed a deep red, though it was a deep pink on Draco's part. Harry blinked a few times, like he suddenly realized how the whole situation must look like, and broke off every contact he had with the other, losing his balance for a bit when he tore himself from in between Draco's legs, turning around and taking a stiff stance next to him instead. Now, the both boys were facing a stern and disapproving stare from their clearly annoyed and tired professor, one boy sitting on the said professor's desk and the other one standing next to him, leaning a bit on the old desk. Each of the boys avoiding the other's eyes.

"When I told you to keep a close eye on him,", Snape started as he shot a sneer towards the darker boy, dragging out every word tortuously slow, "This was not what I meant."

Neither boy spoke after that, Harry clearly way too embarrassed to make a sarcastic remark. The realization that the darker boy didn't deny the situation happening made Draco's heart suddenly flutter, and thus blush, if it was even possible, even more. Snape took the chance to bring their attention towards both of the potions he was carrying. One was a delicate sparkly light blue shade, while the other one was almost the exact same sparkly light blue, but a slight violet tint could be seen in it, and Draco took in the beauty of the both potions.

The light blue one reminded him of the delicate and soft butterflies which flew all across his manor, mainly during spring time. Their wings wound sparkle as they reflected the sun, going from flower to flower, thus making it seem like they were made of light, fine glitter. The light blue and a bit violet one made him think of completely different things, such as a clear autumn drizzle or the strong, icy wind. Its sparkle was absolutely different as well, for the violet one reminded him of wet glass full of almost dried out rain drops. It was a way colder color than the other potion, and it was hard to see, but the slight difference was still there.

Snape, after he came to the realization that none of the boys were paying attention to what he was saying, rudely shoved both of the potions into Harry's hands, who slightly jumped at the sudden contact, and with a scowl on his face told them, slowly but clearly, "Hurry and drink your potions, then I want both of you out of my classroom.", he slowly turned on his heels and went towards the door, the same murderous calm voice still there, "I have much more important things to do than watch over two irresponsable and chaotic teenagers.", and before he slipped through the door, his cape mimicking his every movement, he said, "Detention, both of you.", and slammed the door.

Draco didn't register any wording that came from their tempered professor, paying him no mind for he hoped the detention would never come. He was too busy curiously watching the confused other boy, who's eyes went from one potion to the other, making it clear he had no idea what to do.

"So..", the green eyed teen started, still looking over the both potions, "One potion is an anti effect potion, which is for me,", he turned towards the white teen, "And the other one is the antidote, which is for you.", he stopped for a bit and looked up to meet Draco's eyes, and sheepishly smiled, "But I don't know which one is which, they're basically the same and I didn't really pay attention towards Snape.", he ended with a shrug.

"Give them to me.", said Draco as he took the potions from Harry, touching him accidentally, and blushing for a bit, "Hmm..", he said as he examined the both potions, softly shaking the light blue and tinted violet one, "This one's mine. Here.", he handed Harry the only light blue one.

"How'd you know?", Harry said a bit warily, not yet drinking his.

Draco stopped halfway through his, cringing at the taste, "This one's a bit violet, see?", he said shaking it a bit and bringing it closer to Harry, "The color is well hidden, but if you pay close attention it kind of looks like the violet you find in a diluted Camellia tea.", he drank the rest of the potion, "Violet cancels out yellow, and since the potion was acid yellow, it's pretty obvious that potion was mine."

Harry paused a little, quickly drank his, and afterwards with surprise clear in his eyes looked at Draco, "Really? They both looked exactly the same to me!", he fondly smiled a little, and Draco's heart skipped a beat, "You're really good at potions, huh? It must have taken ages to be able to know all of them by heart!"

"I don't know them by heart.", Draco said lightly as he started to feel much better. The antidote was already working. He fidgeted a bit when he realised how nervous he suddenly felt, talking to Harry had that kind of effect, "I just really like colors.", he said as he finally got up from the old desk. He cringed a little at his stiff backside and tried to loosen up his muscles as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Colors?", Harry asked as he looked over him, carefully making sure if Draco was alright standing on his own. 'Must be his damned hero complex.', Draco sourly thought. "Who would have thought! You usually wear dark clothes, green being the only exception of course." He smiled a bit at Draco's sudden blush who just then put two and two together and realised Harry was not making sure he was alright, but mocking his completely dark outfit.

"Don't talk like you know how I dress!", Draco hissed as he made his way towards the door, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He was eager to get into bed and just catch a break, when he remembered the unfinished conversation they had. He thought about playing dumb and keeping quiet about it, thay was surely the safer route, but somehow, he felt as if he wasn't alone for the first time in a very long time and found himself yearning for the feeling to never end.

"Tomorrow,", he said as he slowly turned towards the darker boy, who was now in the middle of the classroom. The darker boy's ears perked up, not expecting the blonde to speak up again, and he locked his eyes with Draco's. "Try not to ruin my clothes, burn me alive, or Merlin forbid, poison me again.", he forcefully ignored the tiny smile and gleam the green eyes suddenly held, making it clear he knew what he was talking about. Draco turned again, and before fully exiting the classroom said, "There's only this much of your failed potions my body can take.", and then he closed the door and headed towards his dorm.

It was only then when he realised just how much his heart was beating and yearning for the presence of the green eyed boy, his eyes slowly fluttering at the memory of Harry all over him. He never expected himself to miss the other’s touch and lavender smell, but just remembering it made him feel safe and warm. It made him think of light pink, a color he used to describe delicate and easily breakable things. Harry himself reminded him as the calm before an enormous storm, but he had yet to find out why.

He dully noted how today was the first time Harry Potter and him had a decent conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your support !! It means so much ♡♡ I'm in a bit of a writer's block right now, but hopefully I'll come around it soon. Hope you liked today's chapter, I had lots of fun writin it. Until next time ☆♡  
> -Clementine  
> Date: 14.8.2020.  
> Words: 3002


	6. Gray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone feels the same as Draco is portrayed in this fanfic:  
> 1-800-273-8255  
> Also, I am always here to hear anyone out, please remember that you are not alone, find me on tumblr as leaphyy.

It is not a secret that Harry Potter spent all of his life without a single parent. Actually, it is a well known fact in the whole wizarding world, one that the second when you mention his name one of the following things pop up in your mind: Harry Potter is The Boy Who Lived or Harry Potter is the son of the famous Lily and James Potter, both deceased since Halloween 1981.

It is a well known fact, one which even Harry himself knew his whole life, well, one way or another. His variation, however, was much milder than the truth which was hidden from him for almost more than ten years, if you count dying in a car accident milder from dying by the hands of a lunatic. They were his parents, all things considered, and dying by either didn't sit well with him. He wanted them alive, he wanted them by his side and watch him grow up just as he would watch them grow old. If he was given the chance to relive everything once again, he would take it, and now as an older version of the previous Harry, he would do everything in his might to protect them.

That was not a case, however, nor was it something that would ever happen, so he had to live with the truth and regret of never properly meeting his parents. He was never given the opportunity of doing that, so he would not question the what ifs, for it would be a much easier and wiser choice. Easier since he wouldn't overweight his brain with such horrible and heavy thoughts, and wiser since he never learnt to let go of things which were his. Which brings him to one of his not so pretty, nor heroic personality trait.

Harry Potter has always been quite possessive of his belongings. Not only that, but before the strong feelings of possessiveness form, he firstly becomes overly obsessive about the subject in question. And obsessiveness and possessiveness are rather ugly, in his opinion.

A yellowish green is associated with sickness and jealousy, so which color is possessiveness?

Looking back, it all started when he was about nine years old. He remembers getting his first toy, a white and greenish tinted stuffed dragon. It wasn't really his, since it firstly belonged to Dudley, who after ripping one of its wings out, threw it at Harry almost cracking his glasses in the process. After screaming and blaming Harry for the damage the poor dragon went through, his aunt punished him with not having dinner that day, nor the next day... nor for the next whole week. He did manage to sneak the dragon into his cupboard so at the end, nothing of it mattered, for Harry finally got himself his first toy, and for the first time ever he was nothing more but thrilled and happy about it. Happy, since he never got something like this before. The stuffed animal was something that finally belonged to him, and him only. He wasn't about to share it with anyone anytime soon, or ever. Since the dragon was Harry's, nobody else's. And for that, he was determined to fix the poor thing and give the dragon a new home.

His supplies were limited, since his aunt never liked doing any choirs around the house, sewing was one of them. He did manage to make the most out of it, finding a needle was a great start. However, when it came to the thread, he did not have such luck. After a while he did manage to find a red thread, which was buried deep down into one of his aunt's closets. Harry quickly took the thread and carefully made his way towards his cupboard, but when he closed the door, it was then when Harry hesitated. The harsh red would terribly crash with the soft and pastel green colors of the dragon, it would be even worse against the milky white delicate wings. After giving it a thought, he decided to go through with it no matter the color of the thread. The color itself would be a nice memory of Harry caring for the poor thing. The red against the wings would be just that, a fresh memory.

So with that being his last thought, Harry pushed himself off of the door and set to work.

After washing the toy and carefully fixing its delicate wing, the dragon looked brand new. Mostly because it was, but Harry still took pride into his sewing skills, even if they were a bit wonky. The red did horribly crash with everything else, just as Harry expected, but it somehow gave the dragon a unique touch. It gave it Harry's signature, something no other stuffed animal had. The red was personalised to Harry, so he grew to love the flaw. Harry looked over the dragon with awe and wonder, admiring its soft and pastel green color, sparkly pale wings and deep silver eyes. He ran his fingers against its wings, carefully tracing the angry red lines. He smiled to himself as he stroked its white scales all the way down towards its tail, which was doted with dark green dotes. His dragon was beautiful, and Harry loved everything about it.

His dragon, which he chose to name Nuri. Hebrew for 'my fire', as his little one will be to him.

Nuri, his delicate flame.

However, just as Harry grew up with the same knowledge, everything was temporary. Even his happiness as well as Nuri.

One morning, while Harry was still sleeping and cuddling with Nuri, his uncle unexpectedly burst through his door, yelling for him to wake up. After his uncle took in the sight before him, everything went downhill from that. Harry remembers yelling, and a lot of it, but he is still not sure on whose end it was worse. He remembers the burning jealousy, the burning possessiveness, and the burning anger when he felt Nuri being forcefully taken away from him. The feeling was unbearable, and he had to do something, anything, for Nuri was only his, and no one else was allowed to touch it. No one else besides Harry. He wanted his uncle's hands off of Nuri, he wanted them off right now. He feeling was worse and worse, until he could no longer control himself.

Nuri was only his.

And with that thought, he launched himself onto his uncle's shoulders, and ignoring the yell of surprise, started scratching his eyes as forcefully as he could. He scratched and scratched, until he could see his uncle's blood on his fingers. He wanted him to feel pain, for he must be punished for taking away something which only belonged to Harry. Everything after that became a blur, he gave into his ugly and burning feelings which he hid for so long, and was not in control of his actions whatsoever. He remembers being thrown off, and with one last look at his uncle, witnessed Nuri being ripped apart one by one.

That possessiveness continued to curse him throughout his whole life, however, the more time passed, the more Harry learned to keep it under control. That didn't change the fact that it was still present, buried deep down in the pitch black flaws of his soul.

It did not waver a single bit even when he came to Hogwarts.

He found himself not liking when people touched his things, whether it being right in front of him or just the mention of the touching happening. He remembers snapping at Dean in first year once for touching his book without asking. The problem with his books was soon solved, and now he can share them without any issues, but still, the nagging feeling at the back of his head would still be there. He didn't like it when his friends paid attention to someone else who wasn't him, or when anyone else besides him had a reason to talk, or basically whatever else they had to do with both of them in general. Once, he made a Ravenclaw cry for answering a question when it was Hermione the professor picked to give the answer. The second time it happened was when someone interrupted and talked over Ron, clearly doing it on accident. A lot of people suffered through his outbursts in second year, that is until Hermione became aware of his problem, and together with Ron, the three of them were able to get that under control as well. But the nagging feeling never went away.

The breaking point of it all was in third year when he growled and snapped at professor McGonagall. He was not paying attention in class, he was way too busy doodling a bunch of green dragons and other things on a piece of old and yellowed paper. The professor saw him, and was not amused with him at all, so when she tried to take it away from him something in him snapped, and then he tore the paper out of her hold and was about to scratch her as well. After his possessiveness was brought to her attention, a wave of pity took over her, and for the first time ever he caught something like sadness in her eyes. She offered him her help right after class, he still had no idea then just how much she would actually help him. 

In forth year, he finally learnt how to keep all of those feeling under control without the nagging feeling he usually had afterwards.

He thought he had it under control after that, yet he proved himself wrong the second after the sixth year started. One thing was for certain, the reason for his ever growing possessiveness was not what he expected. Unlike last times, it was not over his friends nor his books, this time he fell into his bad and petty habits over no one else but Draco Malfoy.

Harry decided it was not his own fault the white blonde boy reminded his so much of his overly loved dragon Nuri. The one he, no matter how much he tried, still could not forget.

But Harry did absolutely not feel like that over a spoiled brat. No way. He was just curious, that's all.

Harry couldn't decide if it were the big stormy gray eyes which made him overly possessive, or if it was his milky white complexion, so bright against the dark clothes he always wore. Even Draco's golden white hair shone brighter than anything else Harry has ever seen and it went perfectly with his almost white eyebrows and eyelashes which rested on top of his smooth and pink cheeks every time he deeply concentrated on something. There was a time when Harry would have hated himself for noticing such things about another boy, but after a long time he finally grew out of that phase and accepted the fact that boys are so much prettier than girls, in his opinion at least.

One thing is for certain, Draco became Harry's new delicate flame and no matter how much he tried, he could not take his eyes off of the other boy, and with that, he realized, would not be able to calm him overly possessive feelings that were almost always present. Harry was not the one to blame, after all, for Draco was always surrounded by a good amount of people, his friends, Harry supposed. One thing which gave him a bit of a peaceful state of mind was when he realized that Draco was an open book only to him. While some of his friends showed their worries and concerns at certain times, they did brush it off rather quickly and Harry was the only one to realize that Draco's unhappiness was always present. No matter how much he tried to hide it, Harry always saw right through his lies. Unlike his friends, Harry was willing to try and do something about it, whether it being his so called "hero complex" or some of his overcomplicated feeling.

Not only that, but he was sure the blonde boy was hiding something from the world's eyes, and that only made Harry's curiosity hungrier. He was sure Draco Malfoy was up to something, and that something ought to be evil in his case.

And that was how Harry found himself watching Malfoy's every step since the beggining of the school year. Every little move or grimace, Harry saw it all. Every flinch, his closed off body language, inability to properly meet someone's eyes, they never escaped Harry's curious gaze.

If only Malfoy would meet his eyes for a period longer than a few seconds, Harry would give everything in his might to try and understand the other's thoughts. It was tricky, but it didn't matter, for Harry wanted to be the only one to unravel every last one of Malfoy's secrets.

Draco Malfoy, who are you really?

"Mate."

Harry tore off his gaze from Draco, whom he had shamelessly watched the second the blonde entered the hall with his friends earlier this morning. That was quite a while ago, class was about to start and Draco had yet to pick up his fork and start eating.

With his earlier observations from last month, he knew that moment would rarely, if not almost never come.

"Mate,", Ron repeated himself, a tiny bit harsher this time, and Harry finally turned his attention towards his friends, and that was when he realized both of them finished eating their breakfast, while Harry was still only halfway done. Not only that, but Hermione was looking at him with a piercing look, one that was telling him she saw everything right through him, but still, obviously she didn't see enough since she decided to keep quiet for the time being.

"Seriously,", Ron huffed, his eyes piercing right through Harry as well, deep blue on emerald green, "Malfoy again? You sure everything's alright up there?", he said while mentioning towards the top half of Harry's head.

"W-what?", Harry stuttered a bit refusing to break off their eye contact, "Of course it is! It's just, you know, just.."

"Just?", Ron raised a deep ginger eyebrow, his freckled face showing bemusement.

"He's up to something, I just know it."

"Bloody hell.", Ron sighed and closed his eyes, discomfort welcoming his shoulders. After all, they did not have this conversation for the first time, nor the second or the tenth.

"What?", Harry defended, angrily finishing his breakfast, "I don't get why it's such a big deal, i know I'm right-"

"Mate-"

"-and I'll prove it to you, just you wait-"

"Harry."

Both of the boys turned their attention towards their bushy haired friend, whose amber colored eyes were directly boring into Harry's own ones. Just then, something glazed over her stare, and her look turned soft and into one of understanding. It appeared she finally found the last puzzle piece.

"Yes?", Harry bit out, trying to keep the waver out of his voice.

"Did it return?", she asked steadily, testing the waters to see if a question like that was fine to ask, and then continued, "The, you know, past habits?" She was standing on thin ice, choosing her steps carefully.

Apparently, Ron was missing the same piece as well, and when she revealed it like that, his face turned serious, a light understanding behind it.

"What?", Harry dragged on, feeling all of the sudden trapped, "Of course not, I got over it like two years ago. What brings something like that up?", he asked forcefully.

And with the look of surprise all over Hermione's face, Harry was sure she would drop it. But she didn't.

"Didn't it start like this last time as well?", she casually asked, keeping her gaze stronger than before. "In second year with us?"

And then Ron joined, and Harry knew he was caught.

"It did.", Ron agreed, keeping his face cool, "Firstly with those looks of utter obsession, saying you were just wary and keeping us safe and then-"

"Guys,", Harry sighed, hating just how right both of them were. "I just, don't know okay? There's this weird vibe about him ever since the start of the school year, it's horribly suspicious. That's all."

"Please, Harry, just promise us this,", Hermione started while moving a bit towards Harry to lower her voice and whisper in his ear, "No matter the circumstances or reasons, you'll always tell us what's going on in that head of yours, alright?"

"Yeah mate,", Ron whispered as well, a light and soft expression on his face, "We're here for you. The both of us."

"And", Hermione continued, looking back and forth from Harry to Ron, "If something like second grade were to happen again, we'll overcome it. Together."

And then, out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of golden white, and Harry could only half hartlessly nod while he watched to blonde disappear out of his sight through the doors, his friends tightly by his side. Parkinson had her arms over the both boy's shoulders. Harry thought she was a bit too close to Draco, but found himself not daring to think about anything else since he was not that person anymore and he did not care about her arm over Draco's elegant and soft looking neck.

The blonde actually touched his breakfast this time, even if it was almost equal to nothing. Still, it was something and it would mark him eating for the first time this week.

He found himself being unable to get angry at Hermione nor Ron for accusing him of falling into his old ways again when they were worried sick about him, and possibly someone else as well. A possible white haired Slytherin. But Harry wasn't insane, just a bit worried about Draco. He didn't mean any harm, just protection. It hurt that his friends thought otherwise.

But he did not lie, the suspicion about the blonde was still there. The threat about Draco being a possible death eater was still high, and Harry would soon find out about it, one way or another, no matter the worry he felt for the blonde.

For hate always overcame love. Or at least, he thought so. 

And this marked the third today. The third time he had this conversation with his friends, the third time he denied the whole conversation altogether, and the third time he watched Draco with the same stare, noticing only him, besides Harry himself of course, acting and dressing differently from anyone else, clearly applying Draco was well aware of the loop, but doing nothing about it.

He even seemed happier, if Harry could call something like that happiness.

He wondered if Draco forgot his books again, and found himself not minding to share his own books with the gray eyed teen, even after yesterday's today happenings of Draco accidentally stealing his in rush. Thankfully, he did manage to find him after class and was successful at getting them back.

Harry softly smiled to himself when he remembered their unscheduled meeting. Draco was kind of adorable when he was embarrassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait !! It took me quite some time to write this chapter, but I'm finally ready to upload it. Hopefully I didn't disappoint some of you, and hopefully it wasn't kind of boring. Anyways, thank you for reading! Until next time ~  
> -Clementine  
> Words: 3183  
> Date: 28.8.2020.


	7. Lemons

Brewing potions has always been unreasonably problematic and without a reason way too hard, in Harry's honest opinion.

He was well aware that most of the students shared the same opinion as him. Harry and Ron even heard Hermione complain, even if it was only to herself, about the subject a few times. While Hermione would never herself admit, Harry was always there to lend her his help with his rich and well read vocabulary and openly say: Potions sucked big time.

While making potions was an annoying act itself, he was sure most of the problems came from their egotistical and humorless teacher. Blaming Snape for never teaching him how to brew a simple potion was basically second nature to Harry.

On the other hand, he knew a handful of people who honestly enjoyed it, some even found, if not the class than the process, relaxing. A few of them were muggleborns who described it, "Brewing a potion is as same as cooking." Harry was sure almost no one, not even he himself, agreed with that. The others were all purebloods, and only by that they already had an enormous advantage in the subject, who where taught the act of potion making since their youngest days. Lucky bastards, Harry was sure that without their status they wouldn't be so smug about it.

It was an obvious fact that Harry Potter was not good at potions.

Which brings him to his next conclusion.

Draco Malfoy had a lot of guts leaving the finishing touches of their potion in Harry's hands, given how disastrous Harry was compared to Draco, who as far as he knew, had the gift of potion making like no one else in this school. Being Snape's favorite helped a lot as well, not like Harry could relate.

Draco was gifted, talented, and he wore that knowledge with pride. However, neither of those characteristics were much of help when he himself decided that paying attention to anything in particular was not worth his time. Unfortunately, Harry included.

In his defence, Harry did try to call out the other's disinterest a few times, but he had yet to get Draco to react to his calls. If only he could get the blonde to pay attention for a few seconds, to stop Harry from making another horrible mistake. Harry was sure that by now, with Draco's help, even he would have learned how to correctly brew the potion, given it was already the third time they were doing this.

"So, do I just add this to the mixture or are we supposed to do something else beforehand?", Harry asked while looking down at some plant he already cut a few minutes ago. Since he knew from his past attempts that neither the green nor the cyan plant worked, today he chose to test his luck with a bright yellow one instead.

He knew there would come no reply to his question, yet he waited for a few seconds hoping today would be different. Alas, he got his hopes up for nothing.

"Malfoy, I swear to Merlin-", Harry grumbled, annoyance clear in his voice. He dumped the plant into the potion in one go, not caring about the splash it made, before looking over towards the other boy.

"The deed is done,", Harry snapped a bit before catching himself, not wanting to do anything irrational just yet, "Let's hope it's right this time."

While being in the middle of Snape's class he could only do so much to try and make the blonde look up from whatever he found interesting in the time being. Making a fuss like last time proved to be the wrong move, and Harry was not willing to repeat that action. If words didn't work anytime soon, he could always try with something else. After all, he had all the time in the world. Harry made a mental note to remember casting a sneezing spell on Draco next time.

He found himself deep in thought as well, considering other possibilities to make the other boy look up, and so was not able to catch the sudden change of their potion in time.

"Fuck!", Harry shouted making everyone around him turn their heads, even Draco himself.

Harry witnessed the potion quickly changing colors, a calm deep blue almost violet becoming a neon yellow instead. The smell turned rotten, and he wished he never touched the damned yellow plant.

"Not again!", Harry groaned, bringing both of his hands to his nose, trying and somehow succeeding to shield himself from the smell. 

That would mark the third time he screwed up the same potion, and erupted chaos among his class. Everyone was shouting and doing everything and nothing at the same it thus not helping him with the situation at all. Everyone but one pale boy.

After realizing that Draco was suspiciously quiet, he quickly glanced up towards the other boy, expecting to be greeted with either an angry frown or disgust on the other's face. However, as his eyes became used to the smoke of the poison and his sight slowly cleared, worry splashed all over him when he found Draco just standing there, looking out of it like he could collapse any second.

Harry acted on instinct. Grabing a firm hold onto Draco, he pulled the other as far away from the potion as he could, his top priority being to keep the other safe.

"Potter! Harry Potter! Get your filthy hands off of my friend-", Parkinson screeched, nails drawing blood on Blaise's hand who was currently firmly holding her from storming over the yellow fog towards them, "You've hurt him! You've hurt our Draco! I won't forgive you for this! Let go of him, now-".

"Pancy, calm down. Draco will be fine-", Zabini started, barely keeping up with Parkinson's trashing. He shot Harry a dark look, one full of disgust, before his eyes landed on Draco and slightly softened. 

"But, him! The filthy Gryffindor hurt him-"

Snape vanished their cauldron, evacuated the class, and with a hiss and angry eyes told Harry to keep an eye on his godson. He lucky escaped the storm of listening to Snape and Parkinson at the same time when the latter decided to take out her emotions on the professor himself. Harry cringed as Blaise stepped between them, dragging Pancy out of the room. Her shrinking continued down the hall.

Draco could barely stand on his own, and that is how Harry found himself keeping the other in place on Snape's table, him being right between the blonde's legs with his hands on his shoulders.

Harry waited a bit, around a few minutes or so, only relaxing and letting his concern fade when he saw the other's eyes clear a little. Harry looked at him, glancing up and down and making sure he was not harmed, and when he saw no injuries, lessened his grip on Draco's shoulders and carefully continued to stroke Draco's arms in a gentle pattern, an act full of comfort and care. Only when he felt the still dazed boy occasionally tense up under his touch, did Harry hesitantly stop comforting him, and with a last squeeze, let go of the boy completely. Harry couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed at how much the other distrusted him, apparently so much that Harry's touch disgusted him and made him uneasy.

Later he would realize that Draco's discomfort came from touching his forearm, not from Harry himself.

The thought of giving the other a bit of space never crossed Harry's mind, he put his hands in his pockets and stubbornly stood his ground. Looming over Draco like this gave him a pleasant feeling in his chest, one of strength and a warm need to protect, the latter he could not place where it came from. Harry liked it, being in between the white boy's legs, keeping him there, not allowing him to move, and having the upper hand. He wanted to see how far he could push Draco, how long it would take for him to crack under Harry's piercing gaze.

But, why would Harry want that in the first place?

Something in him told him that Draco, as something that belonged only to Harry and no one else, was not allowed to keep secrets from him, was not allowed to act the way he does. Draco was not allowed to keep his fake persona in front of Harry, was not allowed to hide things just like Harry knew he was. Draco was supposed to tell him everything, and only him.

Draco was supposed to be only his. 

But he wasn't. 

So why, oh why, did Harry feel sick with jealousy when there was nothing to be jealous about? Draco was his own man, the choices and their consequences were something Draco had to deal on his own, Harry was the one who had no right to interfere. Draco had every right to chose the people he wanted to be around with, the people whom never decided to say anything about his almost non existent eating habits, the people who decided to ignore how he wore long sleeved shirts throughout the whole sunny and hot September. 

The people who Draco loved, but none of them were worthy of Draco's love.

None of them but Harry.

He wondered if any of his friends knew Draco smelled like citrus candy. So sweet yet perfectly sour. He briefly wondered what happened with Theodore Nott, the one Draco was always glued on to in the past. He remembered how both of them danced around each other, he remembered the careful touches and the soft smiles. Did Draco love him? Did Nott love Draco?

Could Draco love Harry?

But Harry never wanted Draco's love, for Harry was sure that this what he himself was feeling towards the Slytherin was far from pure love. It was something ugly, tainted, something that was hot and ready to overflow. Possessiveness, something he didn't feel for so long.

As much as he yearned to love him, he also wanted to break him.

Harry felt sick, he felt like throwing up, he felt like punishing Draco for what he was doing to him, making his head hurt and his ears ring with screams. The room felt cold, way too cold, and for a second Harry wondered what it would be like if he choose to force all of Draco's secrets out of him.

Hurt him.

Force Draco to look at him, and only at him.

Maybe then Harry would be satisfied-

Instead, Harry decided to choke out:

"Snape dismissed the class early."

Harry honestly wondered if he should seek help from someone again.

⋆❀⋅❀⋅❀⋆

'Tomorrow'

Harry repeated the word over and over again like a mantra as he made his way towards the Gryffindor tower after the Potions incident. 

'Will tomorrow come? Will Draco remember today? Will he eat again, or will he settle for coffee again? Will he choose the dark green thick sweater, or will he wear the thin dark gray turtleneck instead?'

Harry stopped after his last thought, glancing down at his blurry palms. He carefully took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes a little, trying to get rid of the blurriness, but alas to no success when he realized it only got worse.

He remembered white hair-

Why was he feeling like this? Surely something like this was not normal?

"Harry! Merlin, there you are!"

After hearing a distant voice, Harry hesitantly turned around and was met with a thick mop of brown and a different mop of curly red hair. Hermione was jogging towards him while Ron was not so far behind, both of them a bit out of breath and worry lines deep on their foreheads. Hermione was barely keeping hold on all of her books in her hands, a few papers flying off here and there, while Ron was stretching his arms around and collecting said papers.

Harry smiled fondly at them, the blurriness disappearing and his vision clearing up. Honestly, these two.

"Hey-"

Before Harry could get the full sentence out of his mouth, Hermione cradled him into a quick hug and then placed all of the books she was carrying into his hands. They weighed Harry down and he caught them in a tighter hold before they could slip and fall onto the ground. He looked over his friends in question. 

"And these are..?"

"Why, for Potions of course!", Hermione declared smugly, "I've managed to find them all under half an hour. Oh, Ron helped a bit, well, more or less."

"Give me a bit more credit than that, geez.", Ron groaned, handing Harry the papers he caught earlier, "It was such a pain in the ass, I don't want to step into the library ever again."

"Nonsense! Don't go discouraging Harry, Ron!", Hermione said while crossing her eyes and sending Ron a stern look.

"Discouraging me?", Harry repeated, growing more and more confused by the second, "What's up with all of these books anyways? As far as I know there are no upcoming tests."

Or ever, as things are standing in a loop for now.

"Well..", Hermione started, only to be interrupted by Ron.

"She thought you could use a bit of help with Potions,", he smirked, lightly teasing Harry, "After today's accident and all.".

Harry looked down at his grasp which was full of books, there were at least ten of them.

"So you're basically telling me that I'm a lost cause-"

"No, no!", Hermione quickly dismissed, "I don't mean it like that at all-"

"I do.", said Ron, sending Harry a bemused smile, "You totally suck mate. You're even worse than me. Sorry, but not sorry.".

"Ron!"

Harry looked over his friends' bickering, and felt himself smile with ease, the previous emotions completely forgotten for the time being. The blurriness and the nausea disappeared, his heartbeat slowed down and his thoughts cleared. He took a deep breath and let his lungs get filled with fresh, cold air.

Yeah, maybe he was alright after all.

"Thank you guys, I appreciate it.", Harry whispered as he felt his mood lift. "Though, I don't think I'll need this many books. I'll talk to Malfoy and figure it out somehow.".

Hermione withdrew her hand where it was previously pinching Ron's cheek and looked Harry directly in the eyes. He saw them soften a bit.

"No problem Harry,", she said as she took half of the weight from Harry's arms, "You're still giving them a read though.".

Harry internally groaned. 

"You're alright, yes? Nothing happened to you? The potion didn't do any harm, right?", asked Ron as he massaged his red cheeks, "Nothing's bothering you? You seem a bit down.".

"Oh, no. It's just,", Harry whispered as he shifted on his feet a little, "Malfoy got a bit hurt-"

"Yeah, thanks to Parkinson the whole school knows about that.", Ron snorted, taking all of the books from Hermione's hold, leaving her a bit flustered, "She screamed bloody murder all over the halls."

"It was rather surprising to see her openly care so much,", said Hermione, her voice as wise as ever, "The Slytherins usually keep to themselves at all times, I'm glad Malfoy has someone so close to him.".

Malfoy. Draco. Draco has someone close to him that isn't Harry. Someone other than Harry. No, no, he was not allowed to do that-

"What do you mean by that? Don't fill the git's ego even more, Hermione. Please, we don't need that.", Ron grumbled, distaste clear on his face.

Harry remembered Parkinson's furious face, furious at Harry for hurting 'our' Draco, her friend, she said.

"Yeah, I'm well aware of that, but,", Hermione paused, seeming as if she chose her next words carefully, "He seems a bit lonely, somehow, doesn't he?".

"Bleh.", groaned Ron, taking a few steps forward, "Let's just go to the common room, my arms are killing me from carrying these books.".

Hermione only nodded and followed Ron step by step.

And Harry-

Harry felt sick again. He let the books fall from his hold.

"Harry?", called Hermione, quickly walking towards him before crouching down and picking up the books. Once finished, she left them in her hold. "Are you alright?".

Worry. He recognized worry in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm-"

Were Parkinson and Draco close? If so, then how much close were they?

"Fine. I'm fine."

"Mate,", said Ron, finally catching up with Hermione, "No offence, but, you don't seem fine.".

Parkinson had dark hair. Right? Wouldn't it perfectly go with Draco's lovely white strands? It was disgusting. 

"The potion. I should probably sleep off the remaining effects,", choked Harry, the nausea returning, "Yeah, I'm just tired."

Ron lifted his left brow, "Are you sure it's only that?"

"Yeah-"

"You would tell us if something was on your mind, right Harry?", interrupted Hermione, her piercing eyes cutting through Harry.

"Yes, always.", Harry smiled through his lie, "Let's go, I'm barely keeping myself from falling asleep.

Ron and Hermione shared a look, and when they failed to catch onto the lie, smiled softly and started moving towards the common room. The pleasant silence was filled with their bickering. 

Harry decided not to mention his sudden appetite for lemon candy.

Yes, he was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! I'm sorry it took me so long to update the story. I want to say that I am not abandoning it and that I plan on finishing it as soon as I can. The problem is that I am studying medicine, and you can kind of guess how I'm doing just by that.
> 
> I'm mostly concentrating on characteristic studies for now, but rather sooner than later the plot will start to get more interesting. 
> 
> For the time being, I'll have to think about a plot I want this story to have, and then everything will be quite easy. Please don't mind my chaotic updating.
> 
> Until next time~~♡
> 
> -Clementine
> 
> Date: 21.11.2020.  
> Words: 2885


End file.
